Summer got off to a roaring start. In the middle of May family arrived from all corners of the US it seemed. Many stayed at my parents house...one even "camped" in the garage. On May 30th my brother and his wife Jenny celebrated their marriage in a ceremony for the world to enjoy. It was beautiful, right down to the picture perfect sunset. I was a bridesmaid, an impromptu photographer, a dancer, and helped polish off my fair share of the wine. It was a wonderful night, and has since been followed up with the news that the family is going to be growing in the next nine months. To be honest I am proud of my brother. He has truly grown up in the last two years...truly stepped up to the plate. He makes a great dad...and although he still screws up once in awhile...he is a great husband too.
Other than that...I am cleaning out the basement of reid hall. It is a some what daunting task...and it leaves far too much time for thinking. Lately I have been thinking about the nature of relationships.
A few drinks in last Saturday night (in celebration of a friend's 21st) I found myself snugly tucked into a booth at the 317 face to face with complete and utter destruction. Standing maybe five feet away was the boy who took me through the motions of love for the first time. Bitter sweet, the memories I still hold onto from that time. This boy wasn't only my first love but my first broken heart. And even four years later and a few relationships later the memory of the pain caused and tears cried still brought me to my knees. And in a slightly drunken haze I wondered...is that the way of first loves? Even after they have faded do they still have that initial impact over us...that power? Will it always exist? It isn't to say that I haven't moved on. I have since loved and lost...had my world destroyed...and pieced it back together...but still that power, that captivation of the first love exists. Late Saturday night through until early Sunday morning I chased ghosts around the dim light of my apartment...mine and others...and I realized that the past can't be run from. Maybe like the song says "Every road you leave behind you is another road you are going to have to go back down."
1 comments:
how's it going? seeing them for the first time in awhile is the hardest... I still have nightmares of seeing mine. I saw Shane over graduation weekend and was just fine. In fact it just made me feel more secure in my relationship. The thought of seeing Tom is the source of nightmares. It takes a long time if not forever to realize the full impact. Love yOU!
Post a Comment