So the big question on my mind tonight...how do I get out of my own way? I don't know if my realization today was real or completely founded...but it was a realization none-the-less. I think that I tend to get in my own way. I get this idea in my head that I am not going to get through something or that I can't do it...and life plays out exactly the way I construct it. Definitely a case of perception creating reality. I need to get out of my way. Life will move on whether or not I want it to or not. I know that outwardly I want it to move forward...to move anywhere at this point. But today I started questioning if on the inside I am secretly letting myself hold on too tightly to the past. Its not that I don't want to grow up. I mean don't get me wrong there are a few things about the adult world (ie full time jobs, rent, bills etc) that aren't all that they are cracked up to be. But moving forward and progressing through things is key. Key to becoming happy. Mundane tasks cannot be the sum of all of my hard work over the past 22 years. Doing the same thing day in and day out seems to be a way to melt from existence and leave no mark on the world. I don't know yet what mark I want to leave, but I know I want to figure it out. And I can't do that standing still. I have to move past the road blocks I am setting in front of myself. The question is how?
"Steady as a preacher
Free as a weed
Couldn't wait to get goin'
But wasn't quite ready to leave
So innocent, pure and sweet
American honey"
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